There are no words, yet I feel compelled to write. Though I have not been in touch with you, Amir, much since high school, the picture I have of you in my head is crystal clear. Your piercing blue eyes, sincere smile, and kind ways have consumed my thoughts over the past few days. The word that comes to my mind is “individual.” During high school, at a time when most people conformed to get by and fit in, you managed to be your own person and do your own thing. From what I’ve heard and read, it seems you continued in this path in the years following high school, pursuing your dreams and touching people’s lives. You are already missed so much, Amir, and by so many people . . . To my fellow Ramaz classmates: It’s been 10 years . . . Let’s take the time to reflect on the important things in life. Let’s learn from each other and be inspired by one another . . . To the Lopatin Family: I was unable to attend the funeral or pay a shiva call this week because I live in Israel. I feel so far away, but at the same time I know what a strong connection your family has to Israel and that makes me feel a bit closer. You are in my thoughts and prayers. May God give you the strength and courage to deal with this, and may you find comfort in thinking about who Amir was and all that he accomplished in his short lifetime.
amirlopatin
A great friend and roomate
For about half a year now Amir and I were roommates here at Stanford, and I still can’t quite accept the fact that he is gone so suddenly.
I really miss him, because we developed a great friendship, and living with him was fun. I got along well with other roommates, but with him I really connected, and we became involved in each other’s social lives. My sometimes reserved attitude after a tiring day didn’t faze Amir, rather he cracked it with some good-natured humor and we ended up having some profound conversations. We went to parties together, we went mountain biking, played some computer games, and genuinely took an interest in each other’s well-being. We even started sharing a few deeper thoughts about our girlfriends, however cautiously. I think all this is the result of Amir’s great personality and genuine straightforward attitude, and the respect I have for him as a person of moral integrity, critical and unbiased thinking, and tolerance towards others. On the surface, Amir and I have somewhat different cultural backgrounds, I grew up in Germany and am fairly liberal, and Amir said early on that he was somewhat conservative – yet surprisingly, I never felt the slightest bit of tension between us, indeed, I never before had a roommate as wonderful as him.
Amir – I lost a great friend in you, and I miss the occasional hollering each other’s name when we returned home – this is but one small example of how there were many things which you brought along, some of which were unlike me, but all of which enriched my life.
– Sebastian Osterfeld
A brother’s thoughts
Some of you I knew, and some I regretfully never had the privilege of meeting. But my family is honored and awed by the work and love that so many of you have put into this labor of love. We thank you all.
The Combine
As Shoshana mentioned in her eulogy, the term “Combine” denotes “an association of people or groups united for the furtherance of political or commercial (and usually unethical) interests.” Amir introduced us to the term sometime in our sophomore year of high school based on his reading of the novel “One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest” by Ken Kesey, excerpts of which are included below. He rarely referred to “The Combine”, but rather, to “being Combined” (a derivation of his own creation). In other words, for Amir, the concept was most relevant as a measure of personal character, rather than any political or social cause. Amir was far more complex that any fictional character, but those who knew him will find shades of his personality reflected in these paragraphs describing the protagonist of the novel, McMurphy.
From “One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest”:
“McMurphy doesn’t know it, but he’s onto what I realized a long time back, that it’s not just the Big Nurse by herself, but it’s the whole Combine, the nation-wide Combine that is the really big force, and the nurse is just a high-ranking official for them.”
“The ward is a factory for the Combine. It’s for fixing up mistakes made in the neighborhoods and in the schools and in the churches, the hospital is. When a completed project goes back out into society, all fixed up good as new, better than new sometimes, it brings joy to the Big Nurse’s heart; something that came in all twisted different is now a functioning, adjusting component, a credit to the whole outfit and a marvel to behold…”
“[but] you never can tell when just that certain one might come in who’s free enough to foul things up right and left, really make a hell of a mess and constitute a threat to the whole smoothness of the outfit. And, like I explain, the Big Nurse gets real put out if anything keeps her outfit from running smooth.”
“the new guy is different…different from anybody been coming on this ward for the past ten years, different from anybody they ever met outside. He’s just as vulnerable, maybe, but the Combine didn’t get him…How’d he manage to slip the collar? Maybe… the Combine missed getting to him soon enough with the controls. Maybe he growed so wild all over the country, battling around from one place to another… traveling lightfooted and fast, keeping on the move so much that the Combine never had a chance to get anything installed. Maybe that’s it, he never gave the Combine a chance…because a moving target is hard to hit”
“There were times that week when I’d hear that full throttled laugh, watch him scratching his belly and stretching and yawning and leaning back to wink at whoever he was joking with, everything coming to him just as natural as drawing breath, and I’d quit worrying about the Big Nurse and the Combine behind her. I’d think he was strong enough being his own self that he would never back down the way she was hoping he would. I’d think, maybe he truly is something extraordinary. He’s what he is, that’s it. Maybe that makes him strong enough being what he is.”
Amir, you will be missed for many years to come.
– Moshe
Amir on the Go
I have had the opportunity to take many trips with Amir. He came to my hometown of Montreal twice, and both times he was enamored with the city. Whether it was Sir Winston’s bar, the casino, or just a walk in Hampstead, he was so appreciative of what he saw and experienced. Amir took every event and outing to a new height. I hope everyone learns from his enthusiasm about everyday adventures.
-Lisa
Amir
Amir,
You have changed me in so many ways,
You have changed my outlook on life.
You taught me to think, you taught me to love,
You instilled in me a confidence.
I now appreciate the world around me.
I ask G-d why, because I still believe.
I still believe, because I want you to be here.
I want you watching over me, over us, guiding us.
I want to know that your love moves us on.
-Lisa
Just a shout out to Amir…
I never got to talk to you, but you were in my Visualization class last quarter. I think we shared some cookies from the table, and I thought your insight and enthusiasm was very refreshing. I’m proud to have been a student alongside you.
Thanks.
THE TORMENT OF GOOD TIDINGS
His are not the first woes,
nor the first conflict with these perpetual foes.
His is not real pain.
“No, not construction paper cuts and crashing planes,”
They said, and came in out of the rain.
“A rat bit my foot off and it will never be the same.”
They would dare to take pity away,
Would strip everything else with which his psyche could play:
The addictive intoxicant of the lonely moon,
Stars that pierce the whiteness of the hospital room.
“It’s real, I heard it in a song!”
Dare say, “The black angel’s lyre rang wrong.”
What are angels when God is gone?
A pathetic delusion of the self,
Santa Claus and his little Arctic elves.
And so the affliction got worse.
The wound festered, ready to burst:
The mother cried,
the father sighed,
pilfered the essence of our price;
relatively, it’s been a regretfully easy ride.
No hunger.
No rain.
No guns nor knives.
Where are the Hitlers of our lives?
Ensconced in this ethereal void,
My only friend is an android.
The spirit is draining fast
under our feet and back in the past.
No more slaves to split the sea.
Tortured Jesus we’d rather be
Than master of this backward dog.
Resigned, we sleep like logs.
–Amir Lopatin
The Daily Stanford Reports on Amir
GRAD STUDENT DIES OVER BREAK IN CAR ACCIDENT
By Michael Miller
March 30, 2004
First-year School of Education graduate student Amir Lopatin died last Thursday in a car accident near Las Vegas at the age of 28. Lopatin had just begun a doctoral degree in the Learning Sciences and Technology Design program.
Friends and acquaintances said Amir was a smart, inquisitive student and would be missed as much for his approach to life as for his educational contributions.
“He was extremely multidisciplinary,” said his brother Uri Lopatin. “For example, he was a computer genius who loved outdoor things.”
Amir was active in the Orthodox Jewish community at Stanford and was quickly making friends in his first few months on campus.
“He was a very bright, intensive person, and extremely friendly,” said Rabbi Joey Felsen, who works with Hillel. “He also liked to spend time with his thoughts.”
“The Orthodox Jewish community at Stanford is small,” Felsen added. “For us it is a very big loss.”
Amir grew up in Englewood, New Jersey, and completed a computer science degree at Brown University, where he was on the Ultimate Frisbee team. Later, while he was working in New York City, Amir founded the New York City Public Ultimate League, which he ran until coming out to Stanford.
“The league was my brother’s brainchild,” Uri said.
Just beginning to find his place at Stanford, Amir had already impressed professors with his intelligence and incisive questions.
“He had great enthusiasm, great intellectual integrity,” said Assoc. Prof. Dan Schwartz, who taught Amir. “He was bold to state his opinion and you always learned more when you talked to him.”
Amir had already made an impact on colleagues in his small doctoral program of about 15 students.
“I’m going to miss that he’s a straight-shooter,” said master’s student Paula Wellings. “He would tell you exactly what he’s thinking … and he was sweet.”
Amir was taking advantage of the sunny weather, driving back from Las Vegas with childhood friend Jonathan Wilson from New Jersey when his new Honda Element flipped. Wilson was in critical but stable condition at University Medical Center in Las Vegas.
“He said [Stanford] was one of the most beautiful places he’d ever seen,” said Joe Rosen, a research scientist who worked with Amir. “He was very happy here.”
“Not only will I miss him at a personal level, but at a professional level he will be greatly missed,” Rosen also said. “I’ve been doing this for 25 years and there were things I could learn from Amir.”
Amir had gone back to school to try to apply technology to learning, moving beyond the design and programming he had pursued in private industry.
“He wanted to help find ways of helping people learn,” said Uri. “He was enamored by the concept of education.”
A funeral for Amir took place on Sunday in Englewood, and a memorial gathering was held last night at Stanford. His family has set up a Web site at www.amirlopatin.com, which will have information about a foundation to be set up in his memory.
Amir is survived by his mother Sara, his older sister Shoshana and his older brother Uri.
“Today is my last day at Visible World…”
—–Original Message—–
From: Amir Lopatin
Sent: Friday, May 30, 2003 2:20 PM
To: VisibleWorld
Subject: Bye
Dear Friends and Colleagues,
For those that do not know, today is my last day at Visible World. I have been working here for 2 1/2 years, and it has been a great experience for me to be a part of a community of so many talented people. I have grown personally and professionally through my contact with all of you and I am grateful for all that you have taught me.
My plans for the next few months are just to take it easy and spend time with my family. In the fall, if all goes well, i will be starting a Ph.D program at Stanford in educational technology.
For now, I can be reached at at 646-418-8554, or at amirlopatin@yahoo.com
Best wishes and best of luck to all of you! -amir