Doug Daher, psychologist at Center for Religious Life at Stanford, shared the following thoughts during Chabad at Stanford’s memorial for Amir, held March 29, 2004.
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The Navajos have a saying when someone leaves, “something great has happened” – great means large – it is so apparent that this is true now.
I did not know him extensively – We offer a grieving workshop each quarter and Amir found his way to our workshop this fall, and that’s when we met; I was surprised when he sought me out individually – we had only exchanged a few words beforehand…
…The loss of someone in their 20s can be very baffling for a community and for individuals – I’ll share with you one experience I had…
My son four and a half years ago had graduated from Stanford and was killed a year later at 22.
The following spring break, I was at a home near where I live having a rough time… I was picking up the various Redwood branches that fall near my house – the way Redwoods fall – well, one Redwood can grow for 100s of years, and then it drops it’s seedlings. When that Redwood dies, it creates a “sacred circle” of Redwood seedlings. When the sun is at its peak, it can illuminate this sacred circle. It dawned on me that these seedlings probably aren’t going to make it to full trees…the privilege of being in the sacred circle comes at this dear price.