I have just lost a father and on seeking information on laws of mourning I came upon this wonderful website. I should say I also lost a sister at the tender age of 31. She was my best friend , my…well my Amir. Well loved, young aspiring mother etc. I remember the line of cars on the way to the cemetary stretched beyond site. Reading the stories, eulogies, poems, thoughts on the site only bring back the feeling of intense loss. Intense doesn’t begin to describe it really. My fathers recent death and my sisters death ,now 19 years ago are a painful reminder of our fragile existence here. It took me many years to forget the pain of her loss, only to be conjured back with another close death. The blessing you have done by posting this site with its heart fealt emotion surely is Amir’s n’shama, his will, giving solace to others he never even knew. May your pain and sorrow be short and his spirit live forever.
Thoughts
On your second yarzheit
I was thinking of you on your second yarzheit. The pain is deep. It hurts inside to know that you are gone. Your emptiness is felt like a presence. I feel a deep sorrow and grief. The words are not coming, but the pain is there. May your memory be a blessing and a source of strength to everyone you touched.
Rivers
Like rivers, there are pains that are deep, and pains that are wide, and pains that are both. While I am sure that all brothers feel this way, I should tell you , Amir, that your presence in my life was both wide and deep. Likewise my love. And likewise my pain.
I still talk to you, and Dad, but I wish I could hear your answers better.
I miss you.
I Love You.
Uri
Moshava 1990
I’m sitting here on the day of Amir’s yahrzeit holding a squirmy little girl named after him. Mira is now 10 months, 21 lbs, and 29 inches. We’ve spent the afternoon trying to find old emails from Amir and trying to remember old stories that I can share. The stories that I remember generally involve a subset of the 5 of us (Amir, Jon, Allon, Mo and I) playing some (innocent or not so) prank followed by extreme remorse and atonement on Amir’s part and no remorse from us. One story I can share is about that photograph of Amir and I, back-to-back, from Moshava in the summer of 1990. Amir and I were in the same bunk for August and we became friends very quickly, setting off fireworks and smokebombs together in the empty bunks near the lake. My memory is a bit fuzzy on this story, but I think what happened was that Amir and I showed up dressed inappropriately (not wearing the required dress pants and white shirt) for the before-shabbas camp-wide gathering by the flagpole, and we were sent back to change. We changed into our “tough guy” clothes (leather jacket, baseball cap worn backwards, shorts and t-shirts) and came back. They made us stand in the middle of the giant “Chet” as punishment so we defied them again by standing back-to-back. David Honig took that photo so maybe he remembers the story better or differently. Anyway we felt no remorse for that one. I love that photo because it marked the beginning of a long friendship where we took a lot of philosophical (and sophomoric) stands together. These days the stand I’m taking with Amir is trying to better our country’s educational system. When I get frustrated with teaching I remember that just like that day in Moshava – Amir has my back.
Amir’s album evaluation guide
Amir had a distinctive way of evaluating musical recommendations from friends:
in order to avoid ending up with pop music that he knew would be awful he’d go to the music store and look at the songlist. If he saw more than 2 songs with “love” or “heart” or any variations or permutations on those 2 words or the theme they represent he’d put the album down, shake his head and move on.
30
Happy Birthday, Amir!
Remembering Amir on September 11
Hi Amir,
It’s the fourth anniversary of September 11. As we remember the heroes who fought back against the terrorists and defeated them on Flight 93, we also pause to remember you and your many good deeds. We cannot bring you back, but your memories and courage live on in our hearts forever.
Hi Amir
Hi Amir,
I saw a story of a Wall Street Journal interview with the CEO of your company Visible World. There was another story of a doctor from Englewood, NJ, who needs a transplant to survive. So I’m thinking you again. Your spirit is with me, and I’ll never forget you.
Mira…Amir
Eli and Paula Kaufman had a girl last week they named Mira, an adorable anagram of Amir. What a way to make Amir’s name live on. Mazal Tov and Thanks.
Being Surrounded by Computers
I made a speech at my grandfather’s funeral which was written on my Palm Pilot. The speech was about how I was influenced at an early age by all my grandfather’s books and the image of him sitting and learning. At a young age, I developed a passion for knowledge and an excitement for learning things. I thought it was really exciting to be surrounded by books and knowledge. And I still feel that way. But nowadays I experience that not by being surrounded by books, but being surrounded by the knowledge available on the Internet and on computers and on well-kept electronic handheld devices. As I was speaking, I envisioned myself as the product of what Amir was trying to inculcate in children- being able to be surrounded by knowledge, access knowledge, and present knowledge, through something high-tech, something computer-related.